I know I have said that I would begin posting more in the fall, and the fall is definitely upon us, but some things have transpired that have interfered with the ability to post, and to train.
I debated long and hard whether I should even mentioned it on her, but I have decided to, because one of the true goals of this blog is to inspire others in their own training, and in life. And what I’ve gone through is unfortunately not that uncommon.
I mentioned in a recent post, The Mats Don’t Lie, about all of the work I’ve done this year, and how proud I am of my physical, mental and emotional accomplishments. My whole life took a turn for the better when I began Kyokushin Karate under Sensei Steve Fogarasi in the beginning of this past year. All the benefits were not just seen in the dojo, they were seen at home and in my personal life. Everything improved there as well. My personal relationships with friends, work improved and my relationship with my wife improved immensely. At least I thought it did.
My wife recently left me, after a very short marriage, of 15 months. I don’t want to get into all of the details, but although everything had improved incredibly this year, she has her own reasons for leaving I am sure, but I was caught very off guard. This was a very horrible thing to go through, and I am not ashamed to say it broke my heart, but the things I can give credit to for helping me through this is Kyokushin, my Kyokushin family at the dojo and my friends.
Training this past year at a dojo that is tough, has help build my self-confidence and my ability to preserver in any situation. To not give up or give in. To be a winner with an indomitable spirit! Anybody can be positive when things are going great. When life is great, work is great and family life is great. Anybody can be positive. It’s when you get knocked down that your true courage shows. To start over again.
As well, it’s not only my training that get’s me through, it is also the amazing circle of friends that I am surrounded by, who offer encouragement and strength. It has been a great year in most ways.
As Steve Jobs said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something: your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well worn path”.
This became clear this past weekend, when some of those dots had me attend a seminar, along with my Sensei and fellow student, given by 7th Dan Shihan Andre Gilbert. Shihan Gilbert is 74 years old but he moves with power, grace and passion! Without getting into the specifics of the seminar, I can say he inspired me so much by his presence alone. As Sensei Fogarasi said, “Shihan Gilbert has this ‘thing’ . . . something that you must learn to recognize. Once you see and feel it, in you or in others, you will not stop until you master it”.
Being in the presence of people like him and my own Sensei not only inspires me, and I know that I will succeed in whichever path I take, but though there might be rough patches on the road, like the one I’m going through right now, I know that I will not only just be fine, I will shine through on the other side, because of my training, mentorship and watching people who have done it before me. I will look back at those dots and see how they connected to bring me where I am. With no regrets.
I am sure my ex-wife has her own issues and I hope some day she can face them, but I can’t let that affect me now. I have to look out for me on this path, with an unshakeable spirit.